I have some very special friends who have seen me through the past eight months of my life. They are gifts from God. My friend Kath is my "I'm in your face and expect excellence" friend. Her daughter Corey is my "Sister Mary Compassionate" friend. My dear friend Nubye is my "I've walked this path before" friend. My friend Susan is my, "We Merry Widows are wacky" friend. My friend Becky is my "I'm here for you and we can do the impossible together" friend. My friend Samantha is my, "Hey let me share my young life with you" friend. My sister and friend Shauna is my "I am sending hugs to get you through this and I would take your place if I could" friend.
I have many more friends, including men, that have walked me through eight long months of sorrow and sadness better known as widowhood. Each person adds something to me and helps me lay things at the altar of my life. God promised me through the prophetic word of a young woman that came to me the second week I visited the church I now attend that, "God will fill all the intimacy you lack". He has and continues to do so through each person He sends my way. He brings new people to me all the time and I'm continually amazed at His provision. I have not been the easiest person to be around these past long months. Mourning is not pleasant work, and I do mean work. Still there are volunteers who join me in my new job. I have no idea how long it will last, but I'm a worker bee, Little Red Hen kind of woman so I do it with all my might.
I send thank yous out in the spirit and pray huge blessings for each person who has helped me do my job. They hold my hands up and act as crutches until I can walk again without their constant help.
Blessings to each one of you wherever you are today. I love you for your sacrificial love.
Cerise
- love never fails.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
What's Fat Got To Do With It?
I get a charge out of all the advertisements for losing weight and diets that cost an arm and a let. I can't believe people pay for tasteless planned meals that also cost an arm and a leg. Especially considering the fact we have access to the Internet and can learn all we need to know about healthy eating for free. I learned all on my own that the reason I was overweight was because I over ate and was too sedentary. That means I didn't know when to say "no" and when to say, "yes". I should have said "no" to big portions, fatty foods, fried foods, white rice, white flour, white potatoes and white sugar. I should have said "yes" to parking far from the entrance to the store, to riding my bike, to walking a mile a day, to getting out more and to exercise. I should have said, "yes" to whole wheat flour, more veggies, fewer simple carbohydrates and lean meat.
The body is designed to store fat when we eat too much. This is for the times when we face famine. Problem is that most folks never face famine. In America we have "convenience" foods which are truly inconvenient for healthy living. Fast foods should be fasted! We need to slow down and take time to live rather than survive. We believe we need things we don't need and in all reality should fast things that aren't good for the body.
Too often we wait until we are sick to make changes. We aren't wise enough to start out healthy and maintain good health. We find ourselves obese and sickly and then work to come out of the stupor of unhealthy eating. I have friends who have back problems, knee problems, the onset of diabetes, high blood pressure and a nasty selection of overweight induced illnesses. I too was amongst their ranks, but it took the death of my husband for me to get serious about health. When one is all alone and ill a rude wake-up call comes!
Why write this? I'm hoping it might inspire someone else to join the ranks of those of us who want to live the rest of our lives outside the doors of the hospital or doctor's office waiting room. I must prefer to ride my bike these days. I love working in my garden. I am adjusting to my new diet (one I created and maintain even in restaurants). I eat whole grain breads and choose complex carbohydrates. I use agave nectar instead of sugar in my tea. I drink clear liquids including 100% juices. I do take a pill for high blood pressure, but as I lose the last 30 pounds of fat (I've lost 30+ so far) I am trusting I can do away with the pill as well. I avoid salty processed foods. I'm even having to look at my canned goods more carefully as they seem to have way too much salt in them as well. I eat less and less fat all the time. I try to eat more fish even though I live in the desert southwest and am landlocked. I love albacore and kippers which have Omega 3 fats and I buy frozen tilapia. I'm constantly making adjustments when I learn that something I'm eating isn't good for me. I look for replacements so I don't feel starved or deprived. If I crave sugar I am blessed to have a postmaster who has a basket of candy on the counter. I take one or two pieces and am satisfied with that. I'm still working on soda. I don't buy it in the store, but I occasionally get one when I go to the restaurant. I don't do restaurants nearly as often as my husband and I used to.
Oh, you can eat at restaurants and eat healthy, you just have to know what you can and can NOT eat and find those restaurants that have those items. I go to "Whataburger" to get my hamburger fix. They have wholewheat buns. I also order more salads and always order the dressing on the side.
There are a million options for us in America. We can eat healthy, but we have to choose to eat healthy. We have to want to be healthy and that means do whatever it takes to adjust our lifestyles to make it happen. Laziness is poverty. It will kill you slowly and take away the thing you take for granted in youth, health! I no longer take it for granted. It's time to wake up before it's too late.
Everybody is different. Everyone has personal taste and personal cravings. You know your body better than I do, but you have to listen to it talking and also know that you can only eat so much of any food before it gets stored as fat on your body. Fat can kill you. It looks harmless enough until you learn that it can cause your heart to work harder, your joints to be over worked, you spine to crumble and your pancreas to give up the ghost.
Fat is not beautiful no matter how much you try to tell yourself it is. I know I don't like the 30 pounds left I'm working to get rid of. It's taking more work to get these last pounds off than it took to get the first 30+ off, but I'm determined to take care of the temple that God gave me. I hope you will consider doing the same for yours.
The body is designed to store fat when we eat too much. This is for the times when we face famine. Problem is that most folks never face famine. In America we have "convenience" foods which are truly inconvenient for healthy living. Fast foods should be fasted! We need to slow down and take time to live rather than survive. We believe we need things we don't need and in all reality should fast things that aren't good for the body.
Too often we wait until we are sick to make changes. We aren't wise enough to start out healthy and maintain good health. We find ourselves obese and sickly and then work to come out of the stupor of unhealthy eating. I have friends who have back problems, knee problems, the onset of diabetes, high blood pressure and a nasty selection of overweight induced illnesses. I too was amongst their ranks, but it took the death of my husband for me to get serious about health. When one is all alone and ill a rude wake-up call comes!
Why write this? I'm hoping it might inspire someone else to join the ranks of those of us who want to live the rest of our lives outside the doors of the hospital or doctor's office waiting room. I must prefer to ride my bike these days. I love working in my garden. I am adjusting to my new diet (one I created and maintain even in restaurants). I eat whole grain breads and choose complex carbohydrates. I use agave nectar instead of sugar in my tea. I drink clear liquids including 100% juices. I do take a pill for high blood pressure, but as I lose the last 30 pounds of fat (I've lost 30+ so far) I am trusting I can do away with the pill as well. I avoid salty processed foods. I'm even having to look at my canned goods more carefully as they seem to have way too much salt in them as well. I eat less and less fat all the time. I try to eat more fish even though I live in the desert southwest and am landlocked. I love albacore and kippers which have Omega 3 fats and I buy frozen tilapia. I'm constantly making adjustments when I learn that something I'm eating isn't good for me. I look for replacements so I don't feel starved or deprived. If I crave sugar I am blessed to have a postmaster who has a basket of candy on the counter. I take one or two pieces and am satisfied with that. I'm still working on soda. I don't buy it in the store, but I occasionally get one when I go to the restaurant. I don't do restaurants nearly as often as my husband and I used to.
Oh, you can eat at restaurants and eat healthy, you just have to know what you can and can NOT eat and find those restaurants that have those items. I go to "Whataburger" to get my hamburger fix. They have wholewheat buns. I also order more salads and always order the dressing on the side.
There are a million options for us in America. We can eat healthy, but we have to choose to eat healthy. We have to want to be healthy and that means do whatever it takes to adjust our lifestyles to make it happen. Laziness is poverty. It will kill you slowly and take away the thing you take for granted in youth, health! I no longer take it for granted. It's time to wake up before it's too late.
Everybody is different. Everyone has personal taste and personal cravings. You know your body better than I do, but you have to listen to it talking and also know that you can only eat so much of any food before it gets stored as fat on your body. Fat can kill you. It looks harmless enough until you learn that it can cause your heart to work harder, your joints to be over worked, you spine to crumble and your pancreas to give up the ghost.
Fat is not beautiful no matter how much you try to tell yourself it is. I know I don't like the 30 pounds left I'm working to get rid of. It's taking more work to get these last pounds off than it took to get the first 30+ off, but I'm determined to take care of the temple that God gave me. I hope you will consider doing the same for yours.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Walking By Faith
God is love. Sounds pretty simple, but within those three little words is truth that goes beyond anything we can imagine. In the bible it says, "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the
heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him 10 But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.." 1 Corinthians 2:9-10
heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him 10 But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.." 1 Corinthians 2:9-10
We have a tendency (because we are presently wrapped in temporary flesh) to focus on the here and now of life, but we are spirit. Spirit is eternal. Being eternal means we aren't only involved in this linear timeline we call "the present", but are also part of a realm that exists alongside and occasionally intersects with our "reality". Everything in the spirit realm moves at the speed of light. That's pretty fast. When we intersect (by faith) into the spirit realm God can bring things from that realm to this. It sounds pretty fantastic, but if you read and study the word of God it is much clearer.
John 1:In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 The same was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
Yeshua/Jesus was the light that God spoke when He declared, "Light be". He manifested His Son to destroy the works of the adversary. His Son was with Him in the beginning when He created all we see, smell, taste, feel and hear!
Faith is the divine substance that causes what we hope for to manifest into what we can see. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen". We find what we hope for in the word of God. (There are so many things we can hope for if we dig deep enough.) Then we by faith take them and call them our own. God put His faith in us. Just meditate on that for a little while and you'll be filled with hope. Faith is a fruit of the spirit. It is a faith of our spirits! Some think that it's a fruit of the Holy Spirit, but if that were the case we'd ALL (believers) be walking in the fruits of the Spirit. It is a fruit of our righteousness, the righteousness given us by Christ when we were born again. If we sow to our spirits we will reap the fruits of our spirits. Faith is one of those fruits! As we sow the word in our spirits and act on whatever we've sown we can begin to produce the fruit of faith. Faith comes by hearing and hearing comes by the word of God. The more word we sow in our hearts and the more word we act upon, the stronger our faith becomes!
The just (those made righteous in Christ that claim that righteousness) shall LIVE by faith. Without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God. Faith is how we are saved, it how we obtain anything God promises. Most folks work themselves to early graves attempting to get what they need, but it can all be obtained by faith. That isn't to say that we're to sit on our behinds and "live by faith", that couldn't be further from the truth. It takes faith just to live by faith! It takes a great deal of effort to "enter into His rest". It takes a great deal of time in the word to obtain all those great promises.
So today is another opportunity to "live by faith" and so I seek the face of God for yet another day. My life isn't easy, but it sure is getting better. Why? It is getting better because all this time in the presence of God is making my faith grow and bringing to me everything I need or want. God is love and He manifests Himself to those who love Him and trust His word.
Selah
Friday, March 23, 2012
Farm Living
When I returned home from running errands today I was met at my front porch by my rooster Rosie and his henny woman Princess. They were giving me the "we want an early dinner" call. These two are quite a pair. After I gave them their private meal I took some scratch out to the other 10 chickens and spare rooster "Fajita". Later while watering my trees I discovered that Rosie and Princess were taking private dirt baths in my garden soil. I had so neatly leveled it and watered it to keep it from blowing away in our west Texas breezes. Now the dirt formerly known as level has huge dips in it where they have rubbed themselves. I lightly sprayed them with the hose, but they simple squawked at me. I had to chase them out of the garden. I guess that means I'll be shutting my gate from now on to slow down their hole digging.
Yesterday I had the front door open and was enjoying light breezes through my old fashion wood and a screen door. Rosie decided around 3:30pm to start crooning to Princess. It sounds like he's dying when he does this. It's almost like hearing an alien calling for his freaky mama! Princess stood at my front door making the most irritating noise as if to say, "Will you shut up old man, you're driving me crazy". I finally had to close the door and turn my overhead fans on. So much for a little natural breeze and sun.
I've planned to give my chickens away so I can minister out of town. I really hate giving up these two as they are really pets. The idea that someone wouldn't give them the care I offer upsets me. I may yet hold out and keep them after all. We shall see.
My life on this non-working farm is quiet these days. I pulled weeds today, watered my trees, set eight bricks in the sand for a stepping stone, planted some morning glories and now my back is a little sore. Decisions these days are tough. I want to do this and that, but I'm struggling for clarity. I have to trust God through so many hardships and turn my back on conventional methods of supply. God has proved more than faithful. I'm still living on a farm, but not much of a farmer anymore.
Yesterday I had the front door open and was enjoying light breezes through my old fashion wood and a screen door. Rosie decided around 3:30pm to start crooning to Princess. It sounds like he's dying when he does this. It's almost like hearing an alien calling for his freaky mama! Princess stood at my front door making the most irritating noise as if to say, "Will you shut up old man, you're driving me crazy". I finally had to close the door and turn my overhead fans on. So much for a little natural breeze and sun.
I've planned to give my chickens away so I can minister out of town. I really hate giving up these two as they are really pets. The idea that someone wouldn't give them the care I offer upsets me. I may yet hold out and keep them after all. We shall see.
My life on this non-working farm is quiet these days. I pulled weeds today, watered my trees, set eight bricks in the sand for a stepping stone, planted some morning glories and now my back is a little sore. Decisions these days are tough. I want to do this and that, but I'm struggling for clarity. I have to trust God through so many hardships and turn my back on conventional methods of supply. God has proved more than faithful. I'm still living on a farm, but not much of a farmer anymore.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Waking Up
I had no idea six months ago that my life would be so altered by the death of my husband. I'm waking each day a little more different than the day before. I'm not exactly sure what is making all the changes in my life, there are a million little things that "could" be causing the changes, but other than God's hand I can't pinpoint what else might be THEE defining influence in my life.
I thought I might try to make a list of the people and things that I can say have and are"helping" me come out of this fog I've been in.
Selah
Cerise
I thought I might try to make a list of the people and things that I can say have and are"helping" me come out of this fog I've been in.
- Number one is ALWAYS God and His word. I can't ever express how much I depend upon both. Of course God manifests Himself through love and because He lives in the hearts of so many of my friends, He manifests through them as well. I found myself gorging on the word in the darkest hours and the comfort of God's promises has compelled me onto the many tomorrows since Jeff went onto be with the Lord.
- My little sister. She stayed with me for two weeks after my husband died. She cried with me, held me and gave me a sane place in the face of horrific sorrow. We were never close as children, but God began drawing us together about five years ago. She surprised me on my birthday one year and came from Wyoming. We had the time of our lives and I'll never forget her for her sacrificial love. Father I pray that you would bless her with miracles in every area of her life. She deserves so much.
- A good girlfriend here in Gardendale that calls and ministers communion EVERY morning has been like my flesh and blood ROCK. We share the word and principles of healing and faith. She is older than me and has lots of gentle wisdom. She listens and loves me when I'm hurting. She also lets me come by anytime I need to get out of my cave. She actually came and got my mail key and outgoing mail and made a trip to the post office for me this morning. It was out of her way, but she wanted to share some precious articles we'd discussed on the phone. She left them with me so I could duplicate them and thought she might just pick up my mail while I copied them! When I was so ill several weeks ago, she called and got my grocery list. She bought me groceries and blessed me with them. These sorts of things have given me hope in my fellow man when I had pretty much given up.
- My best friend and her daughter who live in Midland. She "slaps" me in the face (not literally) with the word and NEVER lets me make excuses for my sin or for the sins of others. She tells me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Her daughter is my buddy. We share the word in a load of different ways. She is six years younger than my daughter and has been with me in the darkest hours of my sorrow. I owe her my life as she saw me through times when death seemed preferable.
- A prophet friend in Decatur, Texas. His voice and love of the word helped me make it through those times when I missed my husband's voice like a drowning man misses air.
- An apostle friend in Arizona. He prayed for me and gave me prophetic words of direction many times. He continues to check on me and gives me prayer needs of his own to focus my faith on and to pull me outside of myself. It's odd how often I seemed to implode during this time of mourning.
- I have several authors that are my favorites: Kenneth E. Hagin, Smith Wigglesworth, Charles Capps, Kenneth Copeland, Norvel Hayes and several others. Their books about faith, healing and prayer are my favorites and these men of God, some here some gone on to their rewards, have shared their vast wealth of knowledge to my benefit. I ask God to send new treasures into the mansions of those who have gone on. Not sure if it happens, but I'm trusting it does. I want them to know when they are a blessing to me here on earth.
- I have a stack of precious sisters in the Lord that create beautiful cards and send them with a little cash just to "make my day". Oh dear Lord they have no idea how much I needed and continue to need such things.
- There is a couple that I really didn't know before Jeff died. The husband was a friend and also worked with Jeff climbing towers for the TV network they both worked for. After Jeff died they came by with feed for my goats and fowl. They took me to dinner and blessed me with so much love I can't even express it.
- My Russian girlfriends. I have a bible study with them every Thursday evening. It is a challenge to cross cultural and language bridges, but I delight in it and having someone besides myself to focus on.
- My daughter and grandchildren. I can't see them, they don't call and the adversary has blocked them from my life, but dear God I pray for them and they compel me in ways only God knows. I lift them for the biggest blessings that God can provide. I surround them with faith. I shower them with love. I so miss them. I miss them as much as I miss my husband and they are alive.
- The adversary. He has caused me to focus in on faith like a missile system focuses in on a terror cell in the middle east. My hatred of him is so immense that if I sense even the least little ache, pain, suffering, sorrow, hatred, envy or any one of a thousand manifestations of his presence I got "postal" in prayer and in the spirit. He compels me in ways that again, ONLY God knows!
Selah
Cerise
Saturday, March 17, 2012
By Faith
It's just after noon on Saturday. I'm sitting in my recliner with the front door open. The sound of spring lies just beyond the screen door and I'm breathing in deeply of all life has to offer this day.
I've been a widow (that still sounds weird to me) for just under six months and I'm learning a load of life lessons everyday. God is still on the throne, I will survive, I am not alone and I will go on.
I have a list of "to dos" that seems as long as my leg, but I'm one person and I'm learning to resort to God in a new way everyday. Today I decided to do another new thing. Actually I had decided to do it on one of my shopping adventures. I picked up a repair kit for bicycle tires. I have several things that have tubed tires in them. One was the garden cart someone gave us a couple years back. It has never been used. The little rubber spikes on the tires can testify to its disuse. In spite of its disuse it had a flat.
I decided to tackle the job of pulling the tube and tire, repairing the hole in the tube and then putting it all back together.
I remember my dad fixing tubes on our bikes when I was young. I remember him filling a bucket with soapy water and inflating the tube. One the tube was submerged in the soapy water he could see the hole. So I wrangled the tube and tire off its wheel and turned my compressor on. Inflated the tire and used my wash tub with soapy water to find the hole. One problem: too much soap. I had to bale the soapy bubbles out of the water. Once the majority of the bubbles were gone I could not only hear and feel the air escaping, but I could see where the hole was!
I put my finger on the hole, dried off the tube and followed the instructions on the repair kit. The first try was unsuccessful as the tube was a tad damp. The second effort proved successful!
After all of this came the real challenge. I have come to depend upon God's helpers, the ministering spirits or angels. The wheel was digging into the dirt and causing it to be full of sand. I heard a gentle, "turn it on its side" and so I did. I used the little pry tools provided in the kit, aired the tire and voila a fixed flat. Just one in a long list of "new things I've learned to do since my husband died"! Now I can sell the cart and someone who will use it will get more use out of it!
I'm learning to believe I can do whatever I hear God to do! It's called living by faith. It's not natural, but I sure love it when it works. Thus far it's worked without a hitch! Thanks Abba!
- love never fails.
I've been a widow (that still sounds weird to me) for just under six months and I'm learning a load of life lessons everyday. God is still on the throne, I will survive, I am not alone and I will go on.
I have a list of "to dos" that seems as long as my leg, but I'm one person and I'm learning to resort to God in a new way everyday. Today I decided to do another new thing. Actually I had decided to do it on one of my shopping adventures. I picked up a repair kit for bicycle tires. I have several things that have tubed tires in them. One was the garden cart someone gave us a couple years back. It has never been used. The little rubber spikes on the tires can testify to its disuse. In spite of its disuse it had a flat.
I decided to tackle the job of pulling the tube and tire, repairing the hole in the tube and then putting it all back together.
I remember my dad fixing tubes on our bikes when I was young. I remember him filling a bucket with soapy water and inflating the tube. One the tube was submerged in the soapy water he could see the hole. So I wrangled the tube and tire off its wheel and turned my compressor on. Inflated the tire and used my wash tub with soapy water to find the hole. One problem: too much soap. I had to bale the soapy bubbles out of the water. Once the majority of the bubbles were gone I could not only hear and feel the air escaping, but I could see where the hole was!
I put my finger on the hole, dried off the tube and followed the instructions on the repair kit. The first try was unsuccessful as the tube was a tad damp. The second effort proved successful!
After all of this came the real challenge. I have come to depend upon God's helpers, the ministering spirits or angels. The wheel was digging into the dirt and causing it to be full of sand. I heard a gentle, "turn it on its side" and so I did. I used the little pry tools provided in the kit, aired the tire and voila a fixed flat. Just one in a long list of "new things I've learned to do since my husband died"! Now I can sell the cart and someone who will use it will get more use out of it!
I'm learning to believe I can do whatever I hear God to do! It's called living by faith. It's not natural, but I sure love it when it works. Thus far it's worked without a hitch! Thanks Abba!
- love never fails.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Spreading Wings
My life is changing in so many ways I can't even note them all. This is odd because I'm a list maker and I'm not even the least bit interested in putting together a list of the changes. I feel like a caterpillar that is strangely drawn to wrap herself up in a chrysalis and withdraw while the metamorphosis takes place.
The privacy of my chrysalis allows me to face the tearing away of the flesh and soul of my beloved husband. It allows me a safe covering from the onslaught of worldly events I seem to be totally sequestered from.
I sense new things are coming out of the transformation I'm undergoing. Some of my friends are closer than ever before. Some have chosen to step away from the strange manifestations they see happening in my life.
The idea that I shall be a completely different person when the time for my emergence begins is surreal. I never anticipated the way my husband left. I had imagined he would die a different martyr's death many times. For him to die in my arms never crossed my mind. Never.
So as I stretch in my chrysalis and new things come to light in the small fissures that are appearing in my shelter, I anticipate the woman I will be. I look forward to the healing of my heart and soul. I delight in the new opportunities I will encounter. I will be a totally different creature when this is all over.
- love never fails.
The privacy of my chrysalis allows me to face the tearing away of the flesh and soul of my beloved husband. It allows me a safe covering from the onslaught of worldly events I seem to be totally sequestered from.
I sense new things are coming out of the transformation I'm undergoing. Some of my friends are closer than ever before. Some have chosen to step away from the strange manifestations they see happening in my life.
The idea that I shall be a completely different person when the time for my emergence begins is surreal. I never anticipated the way my husband left. I had imagined he would die a different martyr's death many times. For him to die in my arms never crossed my mind. Never.
So as I stretch in my chrysalis and new things come to light in the small fissures that are appearing in my shelter, I anticipate the woman I will be. I look forward to the healing of my heart and soul. I delight in the new opportunities I will encounter. I will be a totally different creature when this is all over.
- love never fails.
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