Romance Can Last

My husband and I will be celebrating our 33rd anniversary in just a few days and we've both been sneaking around. One of my girlfriends has been really "hinting" in non hinty ways all about what he's been doing. Actually she's just enjoying the fact that she knows what he's up to and I do NOT. When I was younger I would have pumped her for information, but today I'm looking forward to his surprise. I am working on his. I have one gift wrapped, his card made and am looking for more goodies to surprise him with.

After 33 years I can tell you that romance is alive and well and living in our hearts and in our home. My husband is so far ahead of me on the romance scale. IF we were keeping a list and competing he's have won long ago. I can also tell you we've had to work hard at our marriage. Marrying is like blending two colors of paint, but there is always someone who doesn't like the idea of two being one and will put himself in the way of success. Should a couple divorce the colors are somewhat blended so no one goes away without a part of the other person rooted in his/her soul. Comparisons will always be made and memories will be in the background influencing every action.

I love scrapbooking and my husband knows it. He visits a huge scrapbook store every time he goes on a mission trip. He has lists he fills and then brings to me. He also visits a particular tourist trap during his trips. He looks for gifts for me all the time. We aren't materially motivated people, but the little gifts we get for one another are just reflections of our love for one another. I on the other hand am always listening to hubby for tools he needs and wants. He has difficulty buying tools for himself, but I do NOT. I love thinking back to the first time we had a nice chunk of change in the bank. I went crazy buying him Craftsman tools and hiding them at a friend's house. I still remember the look on my husband's face as he saw all the huge power tools wrapped in paper with big huge bows on them. He was flabbergasted as he opened each one. My friends delighted in watching him as well. It was a great time for all.

We have a farm and each of us will take turns doing the early morning chores. There are days when I just don't want to move and he does it. There are days I can tell he needs to sleep in and I will get up and brave the cold to feed our animals and release the chickens to peck their happy way through the day.

Love isn't all about sex, though sex is a part of married love. Sex becomes less and less a part of life in older people's life. If it holds too big a place problems can develop. The human body changes and has times of weakness. Having unreal expectations about a partner can cause imbalance. Dealing with unreal appetites is also a part of marriage. Open communication is work. Transparency is a must for a long lived marriage. It is NOT impossible to be open and transparent, but it requires sacrifice of self. Marriage requires sacrifice of self. Hubby and I are blessed to have come to a place where we decided to work for the team of our marriage rather than fight for individual wants. We are a team and we are team players. Romance in marriage is about being for the team. Sometimes you're a player and sometimes you're a cheer leader, last of all sometimes you need a referee and sometimes you need a coach. Being open to that is a biggie.

I find it funny that I am using sports analogies as we aren't big sports people. I just realized that it applies in understanding marriage. Our team colors are yellow and red! How funny. I never realized we had "colors" until this moment. Hubby loves yellow so I use it in decor and when I want to demonstrate my love of him. I love red and hubby uses it to do the same for me. Our team motto, "Love never fails".

Romance is alive and well, but it takes work on BOTH sides of the cake. One can never make demands of the other partner, but must be willing to give 100% knowing that whatever is given will be received.

I'm looking forward to another few decades with my husband. He's my own personal man and I love him deeply. I need him and he needs me. We make an unbeatable team. We only play against the one who would try to separate us. We have God as our referee and coach and our "Ketubah" is the entire bible. We work for each other and look for opportunities to go the extra yard.

It's amazing how quickly 33 years have passed, it only seems like yesterday I say my man for the first time. I know when I see his silver hair that time has passed. I'm thrilled to see what's ahead.

Come grow old with me, the best is yet to be.

Happy 33rd Anniversary babe.

Love ya,

Cerise