Finding Me

After 34 years of marriage I had lost myself in my husband. I think it's supposed to be that way, but then when one is basically ripped in half and must rediscover herself it's an eye opener. I had no idea that one day I would have to figure out who I was, all by myself. It's weird but my pantry looks different, my walls are changing, my wardrobe is the same, but how I dress is not. The things I think about don't get bounced off of a man anymore, and I'm learning to live the woman in the mirror. How many girls marry right out of school? How many girls go from their parent's home to the marriage bed never really knowing who they are? I was one of those. I had a strong personality and ideas, but both were formed by the standards and ideas of my patents. Then I entered into a committed life with my husband and again someone else dictated much of what I thought was right. Now I'm taking stock of my life and it's a little weird to work at finding out who I am apart from my parents and apart from the man I spent most of my life with. It's a little freeing, but it's also a little scary. I guess I'm outta the boat and Jesus and I are gonna walk on the water together. I'm glad there's no click ticking that says I have to figure it out now. One day at a time and I'm in charge. If course God is first so though I'm learning about me, He's right there with lots of answers. The journey continues. - love never fails.