Blast From the Past

I'm sitting in Starbucks waiting for a friend I've never met before and find myself back in the 60s and 70s. First the Monkees are filling the air with familiar melodies, then the Beetles! Now Bread is adding to the nostalgiafest!
It seems that the last eight months since my husband bugged out for heaven has been constantly filled with remembering and with trying to forget. I'm sure my soul and mind have been stretched beyond all normal parameters!
I've learned that mourning is a predictably unpredictable course in life. I lost a child early in my married life. At the time it was the hardest thing I'd suffered. It was more than the loss of a child, it was the loss of hopes and dreams. I discovered strengths and weaknesses I never imagined could come from within my heart. I learned to lean on God and on friends. I learned compassion and put it to practice in practical ways for others who were hurting.
Today I'm past a lot of the horrific fear and torment of losing a spouse of 34 years. I know grief will rear its ugly head when I least expect it. I'm not afraid of confrontation so I'll slam dunk it with proactive resolve. I know mourning is normal, but grief is an ugly self preservative spirit I won't suffer.
The latest tune playing is "The Day The Music Died". I'm glad that title is just that, a popular song. The music of life is running in my veins again and I'm looking forward to living once again.
My good friend Susan shared a bible verse with me: Philippians 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.
I'm working to leave behind the hardest parts of the past and hold fast to the good. I'm learning to shun self pity and absorption and return to the giving woman I have come to know and love. The process seems slow, but the end result will be good I'm confident!
- love never fails.