Climbing Out

The sun is shining and it's cool and breezy here in west Texas. It's a Saturday morning and I stayed up way too late last night. I can feel it in my body. Why am I sitting here typing rather than curling up in my recliner and counting little lambies? I haven't a clue. I suppose my adrenaline is flowing after a red tail hawk tried to make munchies out of my baby chicks. I heard the mama hen going insane outside and knew something bad was up. That hawk was very bold and pushing her luck. I told her to get lost and she flew over the yard a second time as if to say, "I'll be back"!  I got out my 410 shotgun and loaded it, but somewhere in the back of my head I knew she wouldn't be back so soon.

Mama hen was still pretty freaked out. I counted and all ten of her original dozen chicks were accounted for. She took them under the fragrant rosemary bush and calmed them by fluffing her feathers and allowing them to cower under the safety of her outspread wings. I hate losing chicks. I watched the first chicklet fade from day one and then found it laying still its tiny legs outstretched as if to say, "I give up". The second chick tried to quench its thirst in the duck's swimming pool only to discover it couldn't swim and the little fuzzy baby drown. I've had that happen before so if I ever notice the numbers of chicks are down I immediately check the duck pool. It's tragic, but humans can't be bound by the restrictions of dealing with stupid hens. I've placed chicken waterers in strategic places in the yard. Mama hen insists on taking her babes all over the field and then when they get into the yard they are so thirsty they check out the closest water source. If it's the pool you can bet good money it won't survive.

I'm learning to let go of many things now that I'm a widow. I quickly found homes for seven of my nine goats. There was a time when I would have fought to keep my pet goats, but I knew that starvation was something I wasn't about to watch so I found homes and let them go while I was still numb from my husband's sudden death. I also let go of two ducks that suddenly turned up missing. At first I thought a dog or fox had gotten them, until I also noticed that one of my little pink pools was missing from its hiding place between my wash house and the workshop. I'm guessing someone needed two male ducks pretty bad? Either that or the fox wanted to have a pool barbeque party?

It's weird to sit all alone in my little house. It's even weirder to sit here looking at a 410 knowing that I can shoot it and defend my farm animals because at present I'm all they have. It's odd to think of myself as "single" after 34 years of marriage. I'm even considering the thought of dating. Now that's simply surreal.

I'm definitely climbing out of the valley, but I've only just taken one or two steps. I'm focused on hearing God for my path ahead. I don't want to move to quickly as I'm accustomed to bouncing things off my husband before I moved. Now God is acting as my interim husband and I'm learning to hear His voice apart from a natural husband. I have things to do, a vision and am just working to get His take on this whole thing. It's another new adventure I find myself on, but it's worth all the work to get it right.